Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
