They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
