OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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