At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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