My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
