I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
