Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
