I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
True strength comes from lack of pants
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
