Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
