Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
