She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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