I'm really into asian looking animals
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
