she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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