Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
