Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
