Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
