Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
