i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
