I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
