Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
