well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize