So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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