Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
