i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
