i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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