It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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