If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
