I wannas sexs uuuuu
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cut my penus on the lid.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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