the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
