so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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