Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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