i can't believe i had my finger in that
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
