Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have post one night stand depression
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
