do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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