You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
