Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
