I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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