Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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