just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
