I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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