I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
