i jhust puked up my retainher.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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