I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
