Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
