I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
