Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
