Betty ford says i'm here all night
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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