I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
