Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
