two words...techno handjob
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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