return my video game
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
