help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
