im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
