can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
